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Relationship Rules Tips on how to build a healthy love life with your spouse. By: Hara Estroff Marano Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so. It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. Because I care about these things, and care about the environments children grow in, I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem—again. From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door. I won't test you on them—but life will. Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others. Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist. Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love. Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader. Respect, respect, respect. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship. View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team—your differences. Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them. If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume. Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies. Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time. Listen, truly listen, to your partner's concerns and 阅读全文>> |
在你的心中是喜欢短发时俏皮可爱的宫崎葵还是更喜欢长发时温柔恬静的宫崎葵呢？今天海报网就要让短发的宫崎葵PK一下长发的宫崎葵，看看到底是短发时俏皮可爱的宫崎葵惹人爱爱还是长发时温柔恬静的宫崎葵更能打动人？
 在你的心中是喜欢短发时俏皮可爱的宫崎葵还是更喜欢长发时温柔恬静的宫崎葵呢？今天海报网就要让短发的宫崎葵PK一下长发的宫崎葵，看看到底是短发时俏皮可爱的宫崎葵惹人爱爱还是长发时温柔恬静的宫崎葵更能打动人？ |
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主题：一个男人的品位在于选择妻子</STRONG>
与狼共舞 一个男人的品位在于选择妻子，选择了什么样的妻子就等于选择了什么样的人生。俗话说，男怕入错行，女怕嫁错郎，男人何尝不是，写《菜根谭》的洪应明就说过 “悍妻诟谇，真不若耳聋也！” 浓妖不及淡久，婚姻也是这样。大文豪莎士比亚一生写下了众多精彩的戏剧，但是他的婚姻观却没有任何浪漫色彩。因为他明悉婚姻道路的艰难，更了解生活会耗损爱情。 人活这一辈子，究竟有什么是我们必须要的？真正需要的就是良好的心态和闲适的心情。只有家庭和睦，心态健康的人，才具备闲适的条件。比如娶一个好女人，就能赋予一个男人闲适的心情-- 1．一个女人最重要的品质应该是善良，而且百善孝为先。天下不知道有多少苦命的男人在受着自己的媳妇和自己亲妈之间的夹板气？如果我是一个男人，要是将要成为我媳妇的女孩敢问我“我和你妈掉河里，你先救谁？” 我一准把她Ｐａｓｓ掉，这根本就不是人话！ 2．贤惠，这是亘古不变的女性美德。 3．知书达礼，这是新时代对妇女与时俱进的要求。一个女人的气质和教养是丰富内心的流露，也是与别人真 |
